Disclaimer!!!- This post is intended as a funny thought and not meant as a literal slam against bald people, let alone bald barbers. Bald people everywhere, I love you! Keep on shining!!! :)
I went to the barber shop today and got my haircut. My wife and the kids tagged along since my 3 yr. old son also needed one. My son was an angel and sat quietly while the barber performed his art masterfully . Not a peep from my son! Once we were finished I paid my bill and proceeded out to the car. As I buckled the last restraint on our daughter I shut the side door and climbed into the front seat of our minivan. While shutting the passenger door, a thought crossed my mind: Why would a bald man become a barber? I'm not implying that my barber is bald but still, why? Have you ever thought about why a bald man would become a barber? Or better yet, why would I trust my regal, manly mane to someone lacking the basic essentials of the haircut itself, HAIR! I started to mull this over during our car ride home and I came up with a few possible scenarios.
The Vengeful One- For a man to lose his hair, this can be a big deal. Some men never recover from taking a confidence hit to their ego. One minor side effect is emotional insecurity that manifests itself as timidness or meekness which makes himself appear weak and unsure. However, a more dangerous side affect is suppressed anger which can manifest itself in passive aggressive ways. A bald man in this emotional state enters into this type of profession for one reason only; To become a barber so the world will feel the pain of his loss. His plan, to take his vengeance out on the unsuspecting victims who cross the threshold of his establishment, one haircut at a time.
Question?
When the haircut is over and the mirror is presented to review the handiwork on the back of the head, does he shift the mirror from side to side, up and down, never truly allowing a close look? Does he let you see the finished work while still in the chair or do you have to perform a quick review as you're on you way to the register? For the last ruse, does he stand next to you so when you get a side-by-side of him and you in the mirror your haircut looks like a million bucks because you have hair and he doesn't?
I Am So Confused!- This bald man has lost his identity along with his hair and feels the need to live vicariously through other men. This bald barber is the Picasso of hair cuts. He is the patron saint of making men everywhere look good with a snip of his magic shears because he knows that he will never amount to the next Brad Pitt without, at least, a true head of hair. This man is not restricted to barbers shops solely, but can find a promising career in a beauty salon too.
Question?
Are his shears gold plated? Does his station have only high end hair care and styling products? Does he go the extra mile and also trim your eyebrows and mustache as part of the service? Do you have to tell him what kind of cut you want or does he shh you and then lead you by the hand and gently sit you down on your throne asking you to "Close your eyes and relax so the master can begin his work?"
The Eccentric- This type of bald man is strange, but determined to conform and fit in. After a hard days work, he sweeps up the hair to keep his station clean. But instead of throwing it away, he stuffs it into a plastic bag and then into his duffel bag and takes it home. Once there, he proceeds to his work table and dumps out the hair. From there he begins to craft himself a beauty of what was once lost. When finished, the bald barber is no more! He now can rejoin the ranks manly men everywhere with his new head of hair. One wig won't do, however, and as you look around there are many wigs of many different styles and colors. You may not even recognize your regular barber out in public if he is this type of bald barber. For all you know he may be in the men's bible study group you've gone to for years but has never let on. Think about Clark Kent and Superman.
Question?
Does his head have glue residue on it? Does he have a duffel bag at his station? Does he seem overly curious about the healthiness of your hair and does he hold up a "sample" he cut off to his head? Does he recommend that you come back in a couple of months so it can grow out a little more?
Whatever the reason may be as long as you get a decent haircut then make sure keep going to the same barber. Also, leave a good tip or else you could get a bad haircut regardless.
I will leave you with one final tip as food for thought. Read 2 Kings 2: 23-24. If you don't see any more blogs from me then you'll know why :)
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